By Deborah Kintner
Although most people understand the need to grieve following the death of a loved one, few realize the similar impact of the loss of a job. Grief does occur at this time. It can lead to a downward spiral and be as devastating as a death. On the other hand, successfully surviving this process can produce opportunities that may not have materialized otherwise.
In these days of down-sizing, job loss has grown quite common and is sometimes anticipated prior to the actual termination. As a result, an individual may actually experience two different phases of the grief process – pre-termination grief and post-termination grief. Although similar in some ways, these are two distinct situations which follow different stages. Both involve significant changes in emotions and behavior.
Pre-Termination Phase Let’s first consider the pre-termination phase which occurs during the interim between receiving the information that the end of the job is imminent and the actual termination. This type of situation often happens when a company starts laying off people or “right-sizing.” As such, it is often not due to lack of competence, work ethic, or effort. Five stages transpire during this type of grief.
Stage One: Denial
Since a person generally does not feel termination is deserved, the individual is likely to experience a sensation of “how can this be happening to me?” In addition, since the final action has not yet taken place, the person may believe that management will come to the enlightened realization that they can’t function without that person and will change their minds. Of course, since this eventuality does sometimes occur, the person has little difficulty believing this misconception.
Stage Two: Anger
Although not everyone goes through this stage, enough do to make it worth mentioning. During this stage, the person may try to bargain with God to intervene to prevent the job loss. In addition, the person may make incredible (often unattainable) promises to God in return for a new job. Such actions do little to actually help the person reach the goal, but they may help foster some sense of control.
Stage Four: Depression
When it finally hits that the job loss is actually occurring, depression often will set in. This may take the form of mild blues which are easily overcome to move on to the next stage. However, it may also spiral into severe, debilitating depression which inhibits normal functioning. If depression occurs, don’t panic. Recurring bouts of depression are common, even when you are successfully progressing through your grief.
Stage Five: Acceptance (Getting on with Life)
At this point, you realize that you will profit most from maintaining a positive attitude, continuing to work toward your goal, exploring various options, and building networks. You may still feel somewhat depressed, but not so badly that you feel like giving up. The critical point in this stage is realizing that your own attitude will help determine how successfully you will navigate your job search.
Much of the information used in this article was found in the Job Loss Survival Guide, by Jim Davis, which can be found at http://familycorner.tripod.com/jobloss.htm